Walking on Egg Shells

So...I love when people care about me enough to be honest with me.

I get that I have depression. I get that sometimes I even get my feelings hurt...for a little while. I also get that I debate issues more than I should. Because of these basic truths, I think people are often afraid of how I might respond if they do share. This leads to relationships that have participants walking around on egg shells.

In my mind many things can and sometimes do happen.

Best case scenario is that I take that information as a gift, thank the giver of the gift for their truth and honesty, and move on a better person taking the information that was of value through my life.

Worst case scenario is that I am offended and hurt. These feelings are temporary and go away. There has never been a person who wanted to be friends with me that I have turned away (that I know of?).

It could also go down where someone gives me feedback and I hear and decide that it is not accurate and I will not apply it my life. That doesn't mean that I will never take criticism from that person, just simply in that moment, I choose to feel like I know me and my behavior better in that moment than someone who is not me. I may be wrong. I may have missed a chance for growth, or I might just be right. At the end of the day, feedback is simply a gift and like Christmas time, some gifts may be really groovy like a heartfelt card or a nintendo wii, or they also might be a homemade sweater from Aunt Erda that is 2 sizes to small and not really my style.

I think about little things that people have shared with me that have helped me. One friend questioned my often foggy glasses. I don't notice the foggy as part of my vision disorder, but I wash my glasses far more often now (maybe not enough, but more). This was great feedback, but I wonder how many people have wondered the same thing, maybe even judged me for it, but were not willing to say a word.

Another example would be a boss who encouraged me to be less gossipy (I am guilty of "venting" my frustrations too often and to too many people) and more direct with those who I work around. Every time I say anything slightly negative about someone I work with, I now ask myself, "do they know I feel this way", "What can I do to make this better" rather than finding other to take my cause or join me in a battle of hearts at war.

I ask myself and you, the reader, "What stops you from being honest with the ones you love"?

I ask the people in my life who love me or call me friend to love me enough to be honest with me. I am my own person and will make my own choices, but will move through this process more effectively with your help.