Coming Out to My Mom - Done and Done

So...Tons of anxiety today. I had made the choice that I was going to tell her I am gay and it was to happen today. So I got in way late last night. Slept in until 8:30 and then it was time to work. She needed me to go hook up some speakers for her friend, then we went grocery shopping for dinner, then she asked me to help her pick out a new computer and the needed equipment to set up a wireless network in the home. All of this time, I just wanted to get home to tell her.

I unloaded all of the stuff from our adventure, started opening up the computer stuff to set up, and I said to my mom (me kneeling on the floor unpacking the box, her sitting in a chair across the room), "there is something I have to tell you"

My mom says, "okay..."

Me: "I'm gay"

Mom: "No you're not"

Me: "Yeah, I am"

Mom: "No, you're kidding" (which I do kid around a lot, so I can see how she might think this is a cruel joke)

Me: "Really, I am"

Mom: "Okay then"

Some points that came up after a long pause

My dad who died 18 months ago, who was not the most open person, I guess knew I was gay and this was always something him and my mom disagreed upon. She said that she always that he was wrong, but I guess he always knew. I feel a little less guilty about not telling him before he died.

I told my mom how I joked with friends that she would rather me be gay then Mormon. She agreed. She talked about her relief knowing she would not have to be a grandma that might not have a place to grandchildren raised in a LDS home.

She talked about being in shock.

We talked about my Lesbian Cousin and how that she thought I looked down on her for being gay. I told her I was close to her because she was gay.

My one fear came true. She was hurt I waited so long to tell her.

It feels good to have it done. Even though 95% of the people in my life knew before today, I really feel like today was my true coming out day. I am so grateful for all the love and support from all my friends during this. Now my life can truly begin. Celebrate!