*Disclaimer*

Hey friends, I just want to make sure no one reads my blog and thinks I am against the LDS/Mormon church. It is in fact very much the other way around. I am grateful for my time in the church. There are countless Mormons who love me and who I love back. They have shaped me and built me up. Their faith was the tool God used to bring me unto Him. Please know my comments are just my raw thoughts and not meant to sway people one way or another.

Oh, the type of Mormon I struggle with...

So, one of my very best friends from the mission texted me last night. We stopped talking a couple years ago right around the time I came out and he was getting married. I thought it was because I came out, he thought it was because he was getting married. Anyway, it has been a very long time since I have heard anything from him...

So our conversation from last night, again the first of anything I have heard in a year or two. And I quote from the the very first message, and yes he goes directly to the following.

Him: Are you still gay?
Me: Yep
Me: How's life for you?
Him: Great. I tried calling you a while ago, but you ignored me.
Me: Really?
Him: Yup. So what are you up to?
Me: Just working, living the life, you?
Him: Having a baby next month. So are you still active?
Me: Congrats on the baby, that's awesome. I'm no longer a member.
Him: Why?
Me: It was either that or get ex'ed.
Him: Well I am really really sorry to hear that.
Me: I feel that I am on the path I am meant to follow so do not feel too sorry =)
Him: Don't talk like that. You know the truth deep down inside. Satan is very very strong, but can have no power over us if we have true faith in Jesus Christ.
Me: Well, I follow my heart and continue to pray for guidance. Only God and I know the path for me, so I hope you can trust that just as I trust the path you have chosen.
Him: The path to follow is the prophet. Come on man, you know better. I'm sure that you truly feel that way and that's fine, but that's part of how the world works. We have to listen to God's prophets and obey no matter how hard it is. It's weird I just started texting you? Do you look at that as God telling you something? I know my prayers are always answered by other people.
Me: Dude, the same way God confirmed that there are prophets on the earth is the same way God directs me today. If the feelings and answers I have received are false, than the church must be also. Only I can receive personal revelation for me. Prophets give general commandments. God gives specific. I appreciate you concern, but what I need is love.
Him: Dude, you knew the church was true. How can you do this? I heard your testimony, so you were either lying then or lying now.
Me: Nephi must have lied when he killed Laban, because the prophets said no killing. If you cannot grasp personal revelation, you are missing a great piece of God's plan, but let's not argue. If you want to be my friend for who I am, awesome. If not, that is your choice and I will hold on to the good times we had.
Him: No you didn't want to be my friend after I invited you to my wedding so don't start that. I just feel way way bad for you! You know it's true, you just cannot let go of your worldly temptations. I am feel very very very sorry for you! I hope you repent and come back !
Me: I have always wanted to be your friend. I am super sorry you felt otherwise. I will always love you like a brother.
Him: Well, I really hope you come back! I'll pray for you!
Me: Well, we can all use prayers, so thanks man!

Arghhhhh!


How do we follow the Savior? By loving those around us.

Chris Larson went from being "single" to "in a relationship".

The post that everyone someday desires to have show up in their news feed for the world to know. Well the day has come for me.

Out of respect for the dude I am in a relationship with, I will keep some details purposely vague.


In many ways, I feel like my relationship IQ is low and starting at that of about a 13 year old around the time I came out. I feel like in the last couple of years, I have matured to a 16 year old. I am now comfortable cuddling and kissing and dating someone doesn't instantly mean marriage.

I am not sure how long this new relationship will last. I am not sure I care right now because we are having fun, enjoy each other, and seem to be a really good fit.

I guess the funny part from tonight was when we were trying to figure out if we were dating. It is still hard to believe someone would want to date me, so I might have over clarified. We had the DTR talk the 3 times just to make sure we were on the same page. And we are. If things come crashing down next week, don't judge me too much if I am back to "single" because no matter what happens, this is to learn, to grow, and to love :)

A New Day. A New Hope.

It is weird looking back on the last few years. How far I have come. How far I have to go.

Where am I at now? I am a single gay guy. I have a great job, great friends, and a pretty great life. I have a solid relationship with God, who I look to as my father in heaven. I feel like he looks out for me and keeps me warm in a sometimes cold world and keeps me cool when I get a hot head. I am at peace now with the LDS church. I feel grateful for it being a stepping stone in my spiritual growth. I respect it for what it is and I respect the members who following its teachings. It was great for me for a time and that time has passed.

I believe that the key to happiness is moving forward. There seems to be a law of order that states that you are always in motion. You are either moving forward or backwards, but you can never stay in the same place.

Blogging seems to keep me going so I am going to try to blog about what I am doing to move me to the life of my dreams!